Judging the curiosity of Walt.

One of the changes we made upon getting to China was to cancel the Netflix subscription.  It’s a weird thing for me to be without that.  After 20 years, I canceled my membership.  It just wasn’t worth it any longer.  Not the price, nor the content.  

During our summer, we also upgraded our tech.  With that, we got a few free months of AppleTV+ and gave it a try.  Our good friend, B Schmittah, told us about content we needed to see; Ted Lasso, Shrinking, and some of the nature docs.  We ended up just keeping the service and we’re all loving it.  J and I loved the shows named above and Kiddo and the family watch the docs at night as a family before Kiddo brushes and does bed.  

I mention this because of Ted Lasso.  There is a scene in the first season that kind of speaks to us.  To what we are doing and how we think.  Of what we try to teach Kiddo.

“Be curious, not judgmental.” — Walt Whitman

J and I were both raised with judgmental people around us.  It was always comments about others, how they live, their style choices, their friends or partners, even the color of their skin.

We don’t do that and we teach Kiddo to not do that.  Be curious.  Ask questions.  Know someone before you decide on them.  And you don’t have to LIKE everyone, but that doesn’t mean you need to dislike or judge everyone.  Some people are just people.  I’m never going to be best friends with the guy who lives upstairs from us, but I don’t think about him unless I see him in the lift.

That’s a good example.  He’s got a 5 year old.  A dog.  We see them and his wife, occasionally.  He once, a few months back, asked if it was too much with the dog scampering and the kid banging around.  We hear it from time to time, but it’s never over the top.  Because he asked, I gave him the truth of it — It’s about a good as it can be with an active dog and active kid, but if it was annoying or over much, I’d walk up and knock on the door. He responded with a “Fair do.”  

Outside of that, I don’t care.  He’s a dude.  He’s got a wife and a kid.  I know the feeling.  I have no other thoughts about the guy.  We chat when we see each other or are going the same way.  He’s a Chinese Track teacher.  He’s British.  He’s never been to The States.  We chat.  I’m curious, not judgmental.  And he will move or we will move and I’ll never think of the guy again and both our lives will continue.

Were this J or my family living here and in this situation, I’m sure our families would have had something to say.  How can he let the dog….  Doesn’t he realize he has downstairs neighbors when that kid starts to stomp and….. What’s a white guy from the UK doing teaching CHINESE…. There would have been judging.  

I guess because I’m the black sheep, I feel this a lot more.  I’ve always been the one to push the boundaries.  I’m tattooed.  I used to (in my youth) have long hair and I would bleach and color it.  I’ve had my ears pierced and still rock a small hoop.  I watch the movies that are low budget and not mainstream.  Heck, since I’ve been about 15, my top 5 favorite film is Six Degrees of Separation.  It’s 2ish hours of slow paced character development.  But again, it speaks to me;  “Tell the one about that boy!”  Stockard Channing NAILS the role.

I refuse to be an anecdote or turn people into one.  I want to be curious, not judgmental.  We raise Kiddo to be just that; and as we cover the globe and see as much of it as we can, we go with that mindset.  Eat at the local market.  Try the bugs.  Hey look… a noodle place, let’s pop in and try it.  Songkran, Chinese New Year, Dwali, and all the others.  I’ve been to Temple, Mosque, Church.  Not because I’m searching for religion, but to see yours and how you celebrate, mourn, worship, gather, etc.  

That’s part of this journey.  The other part is that that mindset doesn’t fit in America (more like AmeriKKKa) right now.  It’s a culture war filled with buzzwords and anyone with brown skin is a potential enemy; regardless of their status, beliefs, or what service they’ve done for The US.  No one is curious, just judgmental.  We wouldn’t fit with that.  So, we are here.  Following our curiosity.  Following our want to see and be more than a small box in a small place.  There’s this whole great big globe to see and be curious about.  Foods to try.  Things to see.  Learn.  Experience.

Let’s go, Kiddo…. To the next experience and adventure, as we learn, see and grow.  We are glad that you have an open mind that wants to see and experience and not judge and close yourself off from those experiences.  We love watching you learn and explore a bunch of new things.  We can’t wait for the next big break so we can go see more.  To be curious about more, as we wonder and then experience it as best we can.  Yes, we will make mistakes and say or do the wrong thing, but we do it with an open heart and mind and are willing to learn and laugh at ourselves.  We’ve all gained so much more than we’ve lost in doing that, because what we’ve lost is a little bit of pride for one second as we embarrassed ourselves with a cultural faux pas, but we’ve gained so so so much more.  Always remember that.