Positively Tired

We are Covid positive.

It’s scary writing those words.  A year ago, I might have thought that meant death to one of us.  I’m feeling better, but still run down.  J is sneezing and has some congestion.  Kiddo had some fever action and body aches and is on her backend and back to eating like food grows on the walls.  A pancake, a waffle, an apple, a slice of pizza, half a PBJ, a bag of microwave popcorn, some Ritz crackers, half a cucumber, and some watermelon and pineapple bites for good measure.  Dinner is in about an hour.  I’d say she’s back to feeling fine.  

But, despite our best efforts; masks whenever out of the house, hand washing upon return, minimizing touching in public, distancing, etc.  Yet, it got to us.  We are part of the Covid crowd.

I’ve struggled with this in the past week.  J has told me that I can’t beat myself up because it happens, but I disagree… to an extent.

Two years ago now, we started lock downs.  TWO YEARS!

For two years, we have avoided people.  Kiddo has missed out on holidays and milestones, friends birthdays, start of school, being IN a classroom with other kids, playgrounds, sleepovers, and plenty of other kid things.  She’s been quarantined.  Isolated.  J and I have been, off and on, her best friends.

TWO YEARS!

And I’m angry.  Not at Trump or GOPers or Trumpers or Faux News or “the system”.  I’m angry at people.

TWO YEARS…..

OK, more like 22 months……

Lockdowns were in effect and we were getting low on essentials.  Costco had TP and limit 1 per customer.  Good.  We were down to a 6 pack left.  Paper towels as well.  Chicken.  Burger meat.  Anything that would keep us going.  We budgeted out $600 for this.  I was going WHOLE HOG on that trip.  I still have the receipt.  $408.17.  That is a TON of Costco stuff.  But, I had the food saver/vac pack machine, so we could save a ton of meat for months.  Pasta, rice, and other dried goods could be just that.  Shelf Stable dried goods.  Clips and ziplock bags would help.  Airtight containers that we already owned would help with cereals or grains too.  So, we were in a good place and it could be a one off thing. 

Besides that, Costco was taking no stuffin from no body.  Lines marked outside.  Store limits of 50 people per.  Unless it’s a child, one member per card.  Signs saying that no following guidelines, distancing, safety protocols, etc would result in termination of membership.  I felt as safe as I could going to Costco.  

So, on went the mask.  J got me a face shield from her work.  From my colostomy we still had nitrile gloves.  I wore old clothes that I could or would dispose of if needed.  As soon as I was home, I would text and J and Kiddo could vacate the common room and hole up in Kiddo’s room until I got everything into house, wiped down and put away (In the case of the meat, I jammed it into the fridge after wiping to be vac packed later, but that was 3 hours of work, so we couldn’t keep Kiddo locked in her room that long.  Then, clothes straight into the wash and I jump in the shower.  Extra hot and soaped EVERYTHING for 30 seconds.  

Here’s the thing.  While waiting to pay, with a cartful of goods, there were lines on the floor.  Roughly 7 feet apart.  So, there I am, waiting, when I get bumped from behind.  That didn’t feel like a cart.

It wasn’t a cart.  It was two women.  Who proceeded to call me a bunch of unimaginable names because I was in a mask, face shield, and gloves.  Was I scared of a little cold?  What a P***y I was being.  Was I some kind of F****t or something.  Shopping now took 3 hours because of wimpy F*****ts like me.  

Now, Costco marked it floors.  Had signs EVERYWHERE.  Besides, what would the women behind me in line gain by pushing me and/or not staying 6ish feet behind me?  Would they get rang up and out faster?  NO!  Life was what it was.  All they needed to do, literally, was follow simple directions and stand behind lines clearly marked on the floor.  This is shit they LITERALLY teach Per-K and K.  Four year olds, in other words.

All these two GROWN women needed to do was follow instructions a four year old could follow and act like adults.  That’s it.  

So, I’m angry.

Because we don’t know the long term health implications of covid yet.  Did this just take 5 years off our lives?  10?  Will it cause issues with heart, lungs, or other organs 20 years down the road?

WEAR A MASK.  GET YOUR VAX.  STAND BEHIND THE FUCKING LINE!!!!!!!!!

Kiddo can do this.  She is looking forward to getting her Covid Shot.  “It’s probably gonna hurt because Bangkok shots hurt.”  That’s stemming from her Flu Shot this year in BKK.  The needle gauge is a bit thicker, so it hurt a bit more.  But that doesn’t mean she won’t get it and isn’t looking forward to it.  And not because it will mean total freedom.  She knows she will still need to mask up and be cautious.  She also knows it will make her safer.

And adults can’t grasp this concept.  It’s a bunch of conspiracy theories.  It’s a bunch of crap.

You want to do your own research?  Fine!  As soon as you can fund a lab like the CDC with a $6.8 BILLION budget, then you can research all you like.  If what you mean is jumping into the echo chamber on Facebook or reddit or whatever, then you need to pull your head out of your ass and face reality and act like a grown up or be treated like a petulant child and slapped down.

Enough is god damned enough.

Because on 25 March 2020, Dr. Fauci said that (paraphrasing here) the disease would have its own timeline, but we could help by social distancing and wearing masks and gloves if possible.  That vaccine development was underway, rapidly, and that if we all did our part, we could see the end of Covid by Spring 2021, Early Summer 2021 at the latest.

ITS FEBRUARY 2022!!!!!

And it’s NOT because Dr. Fauci was wrong.  I’d be willing to bet he was right.  But, enough people needed to have MAH FREEDUMS that the whole mask, distance, vax thing was thrown right out the door.

So, we all got Covid.  We will survive it.

That doesn’t make it ok.  That doesn’t make it right.  It makes it WAY TOO LONG because a small segment of the US population and a small portion of the world population can’t act like adults.  

It’s been two years.  Kiddo has missed out on parts of being a kid and now has Covid anti-bodies which will have unknown long term consequences.

We will survive Covid.  I hope the world will survive Covid.  But, if everyone could have done the simple things that our four year old managed to spend 2 years doing (so proud of you Kiddo) without hesitation, then it wouldn’t even be a factor any more.

I’m angry….. That we let common sense go.  That a generation that praised its parents and grandparents for stopping Fascism seem to want to go right back to it.  That adults can’t act like adults and make the “sacrifice” of wearing a mask and staying behind well marked lines.  That the globe was struck by pandemic and we keep shortening timelines because we need to “keep the economy open”.  Lastly, I’m angry that we got Covid… Because we’ve played by the rules.  Even a 4 year old.  Without question or qualm.  For TWO YEARS.  But Karen and Chad needed their Freedums.  Because a brown man had the audacity to not only get elected but then put a pandemic team and playbook in place.

Two years.

We are Covid Positive.

This should have ended by now.

So, let’s go, Kiddo.  Grab your mask.  Because Covid is here to stay and I’m sorry that you need to live in the second Dark Ages.