A full day

There are times when I miss working; When I miss getting up without having to figure out how to fill the hours of the day.  I know, I know… complain much.  It’s an odd thing (at my age) to be retired.  At least semi-retired.  Maybe once J is done with her Masters program, I’ll get a burr in my butt and want to go back to school.  Maybe even become a teacher and we can do a double salary thing.  Or maybe I’ll pick another field that has international implications and go that route.

However, as I sip on a coffee at the Starbucks across the street from where Kiddo does her drum lessons and think on it as I write this, I gotta say, being home every day, writing every day (even if it’s not for the blog), cooking, walking, and just having the day to fill as I see fit and not as some boss or employer tells me is a nice feeling.  It certainly is less stressful.  My biggest concern is figuring out what to make for dinner and then walking to the grocery or ordering groceries and doing prep and cook.  

My days start with breakfast and coffee with the ladies.  At about 07:45, Kiddo and I walk to school.  I’m usually home by 08:00.  Then, until 15:07, (weather depending, if it rains I leave a few min earlier) I am on my own.  Some days I don’t have much going on, as I’m caught up on wash and cleaning and dinner is in the house, I just need to prep and cook it and no shopping for groceries is needed.  On these days I spend about 90 minutes walking.  No where in particular, just wandering the area, seeing Shanghai, seeing the little shoppes and places near us.  Sometimes, I’ll have lunch at one of the places.  It’s between 80 cents and about 2 bucks most places.

Music fills my day.  I wander around music like I do the city.  Sometimes I’ll stick with what I know and other times I’ll let Spotify play something cultivated for me.  It’s an eclectic mix when I choose that option.  

Here’s the thing…. I get Kiddo every day.  We chat in the mornings and then walk to school.  We have our little routines and conversations and funny things we do.  After I collect her after school, it’s the same.  We chat.  She tells me about the day.  About the good and bad, the likes and dislikes.  Sometimes she plays with H or other friends on the playground, some days it’s just us and homework and life.

I get to watch her grow.  Sprout.  Become.  As she sits and does math, spelling, and even Chinese homework.  As she learns and grows.  As she explores.  As she grasps concepts and ideas.  Sometimes she’s introspective with that, sometimes she’s wanting to explore that with me and will ask and talk out those ideas.  Sometimes I just get to sit back and watch her go.

That’s a great example.  Look at her go!  She’s really loving learning the language, calling it her favorite class.  She knows numbers to 100.  The months.  All off the top of her head.  Just look at her speak with confidence in a foreign language.  

That’s why I don’t know if I’ll ever go back to work.  Maybe one day when she is a teen and on her own and doing her thing, I’ll get an itch, but for now…. She’s my little buddy.  Every day is a new thing, even when it’s the same thing.  It’s her growing and showing me that growth.  Telling me the new things she learned that day, even if it’s not a school concept, but a life concept gleaned from friends.

The best days are the ones where we’re walking and she’ll just reach up and hold my hand as we’re walking and talking.  Not to cross a street or anything like that, but just to hold my hand as we walk.  Just for the connection and touch.  It never fails to melt my heart.

She is the sweetest, bravest, most courageous being I know.  J is a VERY close second, but Kiddo is a kid and doing all of this.  That is just beyond to me.  I never got those opportunities as a child.  I bet (most of) you didn’t either.  This is a life unusual.  Even my semi-retirement.  All of it.  This isn’t what I thought life would or could be; and yet here I am in Shanghai.  With Kiddo doing all these things.  Learning Chinese and the drums and not a single friend the same race as her.  Not that that matters, but it does go to show that she is getting more than J or I got.  We got middle America.  Kiddo gets the world.  She gets the opportunity to see more than we got.  Learn more.  Experience more.  While she is young and those experiences can make permanent impressions in her thinking, learning, and approach to the world and problem solving therein.  

It’s funny that we needed to leave America to give her the American dream.  Coming home to a parent who cooks for her.  Having friend and free time to explore hobbies.  Living in a household with enough disposable income to vacation in the summer.  Access to books, movies, music, and culture that is not her own.  All she’s missing is 1.3 siblings, 4/5th of a pet, and a white picket fence.

As for J, I know she is happy and she speaks to that all the time.  She feels professionally respected.  She feels that we are in a happier and healthier home, since I can anchor it and make sure it’s clean, laundry is done, and meals are cooked at home 6 of the 7 days of the week.  That Kiddo gets the attention she needs and deserves.  That we are a unit, all three of us, and we work well this way.  

Let’s go, Kiddo… there is still so much to see and learn.  Maybe drums will be a lifelong passion or just a passing fancy.  Either way, you have tried and experienced them and so much more.  You are learning Chinese in school and self studying Greek.  You know Thai.  You know English.  You are the most amazing person who grows more and more amazing each day.  It is so much fun watching you grow, learn, and be you.  One day you will leave Mumma and I, but we hope that you still message or call everyday with news of your amazing accomplishments.