Facing the truth

Recently, I got a notification that my email was getting near 80% and so I’ve spent some time this week cleaning that out.  Some of it was just garbage that was floating around, like Amazon order confirmations and receipts that are no longer needed, same with Costco, Barnes and Noble, etc etc.  Some of it was just dated, work related or stuff like that.  Some of it, though, was personal emails and I took some time cleaning through that.  Most if it was unneeded, but I figured it would be better safe than sorry.

It’s odd, going through old emails like that.  Some of the emails were about J and I getting married and our wedding and from the people invited to that.  Talk about a little jog down memory lane.  Also, considering that we’ve now been married 13 years, that was all up for a cut.

Honestly, 99.9% of it was deleted.  Because our life in America is gone and we are expatriated, a lot of that is just wasted space.  It’s either non-relevant to our life now and those who we are still in touch with know how to get in touch, or it is people and family that we don’t speak to any longer.  Time to trash it and save the space.  Easy enough.

There was one, however, that made me pause.  It was from one of my aunts.  She’s became (maybe still is, I’ve not heard from her in years) the chronicler of family history.  Photos and old vids and that type of stuff.  Way back, during Covid, she passed some photos along and I poked at them out of curiosity.  There was this….

And yeah, I once had hair.  Also, in showing that to J, she wondered how blasted I was and if I was on one or more substances.  Honestly, I don’t remember that pic.  Also, considering I was 22 when I shaved my head and kept it that way…. Knowing what I was into those days; probably 3-5 different substances.  <Shrug>. It was a time in my life and I lived through it, so all we can do is be honest about the mistakes and laugh at myself.

However, there was this….

I showed that to J and she said… WHO is that and why is it our Kid?  Is that Beaner?

I confirmed for her that it was indeed, my sister, Beaner, probably aged around 10 or 11.  J and I had a laugh over that.

It’s funny.  When J was pregnant, I told her that we’d have a girl.  I was sure of it.  I’ll tell the story of Kiddo and her name in a post soon, but I was sure we’d have a girl.  I told her that the only doubt I had was how she would look and I always said, she can be as ugly as I am, just so long as she doesn’t look like Beaner.  Karma, right?

Don’t get me wrong, I love Kiddo, but sometimes she looks at me like Beaner used to when we were teens and something in me just wants to smack her face off.  I think I’ve done well to work with my therapist to divide that in my mind and separate them, so I am able to deal with Kiddo calmer than I would deal with my sister, but it is something that took psychological work.  

So, there’s my embarrassing post of the month.  LOL

Let’s go, Kiddo… I told you that Dada once had hair, as much as you didn’t want to believe.  Wish I had more photos too show you, but sadly, I don’t.  I’ve never been much of a picture guy and my whole life with Mumma I’ve had a shaved head.  Maybe one day you’ll see more, but if not, at least you could see one.

PS. I’ve found a few photos of Kiddo in a similar pose or stance to Beaner and posted those for a compare and contrast.  Also, the two last ones are Kiddo making Pico with me this last weekend. Cheers.