A peacock in KiddoLand

Kiddo is a ham.  She loves playing up her smiles and looks and face and just enjoys turning herself up to 11 and going for it.  As a child, I was yelled at, told off, or made to change when I tried to mix things up or add some uniqueness to my life.  Now, just look at my shoes, my shoelaces, or some of the outfits and colors I put together and I can see where Kiddo gets it from… I can also understand why Kiddo doesn’t care and just wants to be her own little self.  I always think of it as her peacocking it.  Just being her, colorful and cute, whilst struttin’ her stuff.  Good on you, Kiddo!

Either we go out and do cool stuff or just in her dress, Kiddo can’t help but be her.  Last weekend, J and Kiddo went to the library and then went over to a little museum that is near.  It’s an older home that has been converted and still has artifacts from the era in it.  Kiddo got to see a ton and learn a lot and (I’m told) she asked about a million and a half questions.  That’s about the same number of questions that we’ve gotten about things since then.  She is, besides unique, inquisitive and curious.  She’s also shocked.  J mentioned (no pic, sorry) a question about a rotary telephone that was there and how Kiddo was shocked that she (and I) grew up with phones like that and that “Dada didn’t even have his first mobile until he was in his 20s.”  

Besides the questions and awe at some of the answers, she couldn’t help being Kiddo in every way and occasion that she could.  I mean, just look at the smile.  She knows she’s being a goof, but just wants to goof.  Good on you, Kiddo.  Because, honestly, 9 times out of 10, she reads the situation and knows to be a goof or to be serious.  Like the previous post when I mentioned and posted a pic of her with me at the hospital renewing my psych meds.  She was into her iPad and shows and just doing her thing.  She listened.  She used her inside voice and words.  On the walk home, however, the goofs came.  Just Kiddo being Kiddo and asking and doing Kiddo things.  Purple ninjas, so we needed to hide behind planters.  Dr. Stinkybreath- good thing we got masks, but we need to go down the escalator before going back up to the same floor via the lift.  We ended up on the same floor, stepping out of the lift right next to the planter that we had just been hiding behind, but that didn’t matter.  We were in KiddoLand.  It’s a pretty cool place, truth be told.  

She knows when to goof and when to good…. Usually.  But, she’s 5.  Roll with it.  Most of the time J and I do a fine job with rolling.  Sometimes we bark or get her moving because she thought it was goof, but in reality it was go time.  End of the day, I’d say we got dealt a Brunson (poker term for a 10-2 starting hand) and somehow got the right mix to end up with a winner.

It doesn’t stop there, however.  Sometimes, she wants to crank it up to 11 and then some.  I’m talking turning it up to 20.  This morning was one of those days.

My M-F is Kiddo days.  I kiss J at about 0700 when she’s walking out and then I go into dad mode.  Breakfast, clothes, meds, brushing teeth, doing hair, shoes, book bag, mask, life and then some.  Plus whatever I have to do for myself (brush, shower, dress, etc) on top of trying to have a cup of coffee and get my day started as well.  

Then, it happened.  The lil peacock just needed to go all-in on her awesomeness.  She picked every single aspect of this.  Clothes (which even included an undie change because “those were night undies, I need school undies”), socks, shoes, and even hair ties and how I should do her hair.  This is 100% Kiddo here.  And the bunny boing away was in character as well.  

She is just so her.  There is no 50% with Kiddo.  No 100%.  There is 1000000000000% or bust!  J and I have spent 16 years now talking to each other.  We never could have done or been what Kiddo is.  We’ve both talked about coloring our hair and having our mothers both lose their minds at us.  If we “mixmashed” (as Kiddo calls it) we’d be sent to change.  If we wanted to take a 1 minute detour to play Purple Ninjas on a walk home, we would have been yelled at and hurried home faster.  And who knows… Maybe we are better off for it.  Sure, neither of us speak to our parents, we both have tattoos that are visible (and wanting more), and I’m bald otherwise you better belief I’d be rocking some blue and gold hair for the Brew Crew this season.  Or red and green at Xmas.  Or purple, just cuz!   But, maybe always saying no works out.  Maybe being 100% rigid 100% of the time is best.  Again, J’s sister also doesn’t speak to her parents and my lil bro, Grub, (last I heard) only called home about twice a year, but sure… Maybe no works.  Maybe My way or the Highway works.  We (J and myself) decided to try yes.  Can you wear mixmashed shoes and socks… Go for it!  Can I dunk a green bean in my gravy… Go for it.  Can I mix corn flakes and Fruit Loops together… Sure!

We give her yes.  We dole out No.  Can she dress like this on picture day… nope.  Gotta wear XYZ.  Can I stay up later and do video games with Dada…. No.  School day tomorrow.  Can we have McDonalds for dinner tonight…. Kiddo, I’m making crispy chicken and buttered pasta with cuncumber salad, so no.  However, can I eat a pasta on top of a cuncumber…. Sure Kiddo.  Go for it.

Because of this she also knows how to delay gratification.  The other night, we were running behind and busy and J and I were having a home date, so Kiddo wasn’t going to get Video game time.  Sure, she was bummed, but J was meeting up with a friend the next night and leaving about an hour before bedtime, so it was a Dada night.  Well, she knew all this and asked, Can tomorrow be extra video game time since it’s a Dada Night?  Sure.  Good compromise.  There was no crying.  No whining.  And the next night, we played some extra games.  Spent some extra time at tuck ins.  Did an extra story for her goodnight podcast stories before sounds.  

It boils down to this…

We are raising a child.  Creating a unique and functional person.  Not pounding a square peg until it fits in a round hole.  Sometimes you have to give.  Sometimes you have to detour.  Sometimes you have to give to get.  

Ya know what… If allowing her to ham it up like this-

And mixmash it up like this-

To get a Kiddo that is so brave, bold, adventurous, questioning, multi-lingual, intelligent, imaginative, and sweet and all we need to do is to allow her a little space to explore and breathe and try things… then so be it.  J and I can make the time for that.  Especially when it ends up with a 5 year old that can navigate a major city better than some adults I know, who can see the whole picture better than even J and myself at times.  

She is a peacock.  Full of colors, life, and a uniqueness that is all her own.  We could NO that out of her, beat her down mentally and verbally until she’s a plain grey pigeon, but we like the peacock more.  Sometimes that is harder, allowing that, but most of the time, it’s easier and such a joy watching her be so much her!

Let’s go, Kiddo… It’s time for you to go full you and just shine.  Show your colors to the world and be you.  Explore the word and just be you, because the true you is always the best you.