Career ending

For the first time since August, I got a chance to shoot hoops last night.  The game started up again a few weeks ago, but I had already booked those dates with other events and appointments, but yesterday I was back in my full glory.  My shot was rusty and I couldn’t hit water falling out of a boat, but it was good getting out there and running about and hoopin’ it up once more.  

Kiddo is also excited that I was back at it.  She liked that she got a Mumma night again, but also, she couldn’t believe that her Dada was playing basketball in her gym.  Her real gym.  At her school.  I even promised her that in a few weeks, we could let Beer go home early one day and she could come with me to basketball and play in the gym with me until Mumma was free to pick her up and then the two of them could go out and have a Kiddo and Mumma night.

About a half hour into all of that, last night, it all ended.

I was getting back on defense and jumped to try to tip a pass.  I landed awkwardly and went down in a heap.  My left knee felt like it was on fire and like it was cramping, only not.  I couldn’t put weight on it.  The pain subsided, but it was still throbbing and uncomfortable.  Unable to bear weight.  I got some ice on it and sat for a half hour.  

I managed to get to the front of the school.  I flagged a Tuk and got a ride right to the front of our condo building.  Hobbling home, J and Kiddo were still out at Mumma and Kiddo night.  I showered and limped about.  Got dressed in such a way that I haven’t since I had my colostomy; An awkward, half laying, the whole world could see the bits if they’d have walked in kind of way.  Getting to the living room, I got some more ice and followed RICE- Rest, Ice, Compress, Elevate.  

Waking to discomfort, but not pain, it was more hot, swollen, and throbbing.  J was able to rearrange a few things and she was ahead in her planning, so she could baby me this morning and help me, but also take Kiddo to school.  A quick shout out to J for her compassion and love and help and just kindness.  She’s been great and super helpful, doing her best to help me stay off the leg.

Off to the doc I go.  Weight about the same as it’s been for the last year.  77.8kg (172 lbs) and BP is textbook good.  122/80.  Doc had limited English, but he understood better than spoke.  I pulled out Google Translate and we had a back and forth.  He poked and moved my knee cap and knee around.  Asked it it was a pop or tear feeling.  Asked if it hurt all the time or just walking.  Can I walk to the wall and back?  OK.  Can I squat, toes pointed in.  NOPE!

Imaging and X-Ray.  I thought I’d get an MRI.  X-Ray and Ultrasound.  Sent home and I’d get a call to come back once the doc got images.  That was a little after 10am.  Just before noon, could I come back.

Doc did a few more pokes and showed me the X-Ray.  Nothing structural.  Tendons all look intact, possible sprain to LCL and a meniscus tear.  We could MRI to confirm.  That’s not covered.  Would be 9-12K baht out of pocket.  Ouch!  Any other way.  Yes.  He could see if he drew fluid from knee.  If cloudy and pinkish, would mean meniscus tear likely.  But he (the doc) also wanted to inject cortisone to help anyway.

Well, if you’re planning on jamming a needle in anyway, go ahead and pull the fluid.

Cloudy and pinkish.

Well, there’s that.  

More cloudy than pink, so I was told this is good news.  More RICE, limit myself to no more than a km walking once I can walk normally (should be about 4-7 days).  If not able to walk normally (some discomfort, but should slowly get back to normal walking) in a week, I should come back in and we can escalate to surgical options.  For now, if I don’t jack it worse in the next week, I’ll be limited on my walking, keep it compress wrapped, and ice when home or when sore.  If stiff and locked, don’t push and rest it.  I’ll go in for a reevaluation in 10 weeks.  Also, no Bball or other activities or the gym until reevaluated.  Looks like my 45 year old self won’t be getting into NBA shape and form and becoming a late season signing for a contender.  Shucks!  Here I had my hopes up.  LOL

They offered an NSAID, but they charge an arm and a leg (haha) for that.  We have Tylenol at home, I have some of the NSAID offered still at home, and I know where I can refill that RX for half what the hospital wants.  

Last night was tough.  I felt I’d let J and the family down.  Today, I feel better.  Yes, my leg and knee hurts.  Yes, I’m limited now.  But it could have been much much worse.  

J and I also spoke about it.  Maybe at 45, it’s time to stop wishing I was still 25 and take up yoga, water aerobics, and non-contact type activities to keep me active and moving.  And I hate thinking this, I hate even more typing it, but she’s right about that.  I’m 45 with the body of a 65 year old.  It’s time to slow down.  Besides, yoga could help with my flexibility and breathing and meditation might not be such a bad thing for me.  

The book of life is an unknown number of pages.  Time to turn this page and get into the next chapter.  Hopefully this chapter will have a sex scene on every page.  HAHA.  If not, as long as it has J and Kiddo, it’ll be a chapter worth exploring.  

Let’s go, Kiddo… Time to slow down, just as you speed up.  I may not be able to keep up, but I’ll always have my eyes on you.  I love you.  And J… same.  Thanks for finding the mountain path with me.  Sometimes the climb sucks, but at least I have you to lean on and for you to lean on as needed.