Coming Back to The States

An election just happened and things didn’t go a conservative as thought.  This is good, in a lot of ways.  The GOP did take the House back, so expect 2 years of political gridlock.  This post isn’t about politics in America however.

It’s about us coming back.  

Because we’ve been doing this for a year and a half now.  Living and working and experiencing this international thing.  

It’s hard to put into words what this experience is and has been.  I’ve blogged about it a bunch, but without experiencing it, first hand, it’s almost impossible to explain it; the joys, the hard parts, the good stuff, the language, culture, and lifestyle changes needed.

This experience and the last two years of it have been hard.  On all of us.  J and I have had our tests and disagreements, but we’ve also had some amazing experiences and seen things that most people will never see.  Rooftop bars and visiting places that we’d only ever heard about or seen in movies.  Kiddo has gained some language.  A first school experience.  First friends and navigating that, not only on a kid level, but a cultural level as well.  She didn’t just need to go to school and make friends, but do that in Thailand, with Thai children, while not only learning to read and write in English, but also navigating that with children raised in a culture that is foreign to her.

It is a very brave things to do.  I am proud of J for the job she got and how well she managed that, while also being a great mother, wife, and friend.  Kiddo, well, that goes without saying.  As for myself… well, this blog will always be a record of that.

All of that said, we’ve been discussing (recently) what’s next after this experience.  The one consensus that we have is that we couldn’t do America again.  At least, not right now.  

I can’t imagine driving a car.  Let alone the NEED to drive a car.  J can walk to work.  Kiddo can walk to school.  If and when we want to get into town, it’s about $3 in transit fees to get there.  The access to public transit.  The ease of finding a cab or ordering a car.

The access to markets.  Most days, I walk to the market for dinner items.  Along the way, I’ll get fresh fruit, juices, lunch, etc.  Usually, I spend less than $3 on that.  Yes, I have been tracking that for the month.  For the last 20 days, I’ve spent $63 at the market and with that money I’ve gotten-

• 10kg (total to date) of fresh sapparot and tengmo.
• Produce and veggies to make 3 soups, 13 meals, and after school snacks of apples, pears, grapes, or other fresh fruit for the 14 school days so far in the month.
• 11 lunches for myself and 3 lunches for the family. (The other 6 lunches were either left overs or lunches elsewhere).
• 6x 1L bottles of fresh orange juice.  2x 12oz fresh juices (carrot, orange, apple, sapparot, etc).

Peace in chaos.  This one is hard to explain.  At first, you listen to everything.  You are bombarded with words and language, most of it that you don’t understand.  That fades.  Suddenly, with the chaos of the market, or town, or a night market, you realize that it’s not for you and it doesn’t matter to you.  You can turn off that part of your brain and not constantly be sold too or barked at.  And maybe they are telling you that they have the best deal or the best fruit or the best something, but you can tune that out, finding peace in the chaos of life. 

We had no idea about things like Songkran, Loy Krathong, or Chinese New Year.  We now look forward to these days and celebrations.  

We had a signed contract and paperwork in place to move us to Bangkok and J and I were watching something on TV.  It might have been an old Anthony Bourdain or something like that.  The host (maybe it was Somebody Feed Phil) went into a convince store or 7-Eleven or something like that for a sandwich and chips.  I needed to pause the episode.  I thought I was going to throw up.  My head was spinning.  The room was spinning.  This is TERRIFYING!

Now… I can’t imagine not seeing curry crab as a chip flavor.  Or grilled squid.  Or whatever random and crazy flavor you can dream up.  

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying this is perfect.  I miss good IPAs.  We miss good Mexican food.  We miss easy access to asking where or how to find certain items.  We hate the bugs and crawlies that get into the house sometimes, but we live in a jungle that is barely beaten back by modern advances.  Sometimes there’s gonna be a beetle, roach, lizard, or other little thing that invades our space.  We had spiders and lizards in SD too.  We miss access to certain meds or items, but we’ve found ways and alternatives around that.  I miss baseball and going to games… and I know Kiddo does as well.

We have been changed by this.  Those changes have shown us a lot.  Including that we don’t fit, at least right now, in the American mindset of life.  Of the absolute NEED for a car.  For attitudes on foods, medicine, life, politics, etc etc.  We don’t believe in the America First mindset that a lot of people have.  We couldn’t, at least right now, go back to a way of living that doesn’t include a fresh market that we access daily.  

We have, for better for worse, lost our Americanism and become more Global citizens.  In that, we have a thirst and want for more.  What culture and customs can we learn in Vietnam, S Korea, Japan, Cambodia, The Philippines, or what if our next stop is S America?  Europe?  What if the world calms down and we do Singapore, Hong Kong, China, Brazil, or some of the other countries of the world that might not be a good choice for a lot of reasons.  We have approx 12 years until Kiddo is getting towards Uni age.  What other places and things can we learn?  What else can we experience and see?  And why don’t we want to experience and see those things?   

We have, as far as we know, one shot at this life.  ONE.  We decided to take that one opportunity to see and experience as much of this life and planet as we can.  To learn and explore.  To give our child an experience and life that 99% of people will never see; either because of opportunity or fear.  And what will that do to shape Kiddo and her future?  What doors opened?  Even recognizing what doors closed.

We have one life.  One shot.  And we’ve decided to take that here and elsewhere.  Maybe one day America will be the right choice for us.  For today and tomorrow, for the next decade, we are doubtful that will be the right choice and so we will seek that globally, instead of locally.

Let’s go, Kiddo…. there’s a whole wide world to explore.  Mumma and I will be right next to you, in case you need to hold a hand or get a hug.  We will be brave with you.  We will be brave because of you.  We love you.

A finale note here:

Dear friend and constant reader Doc J shared bad news of her husband’s father, JS, passing over the weekend.  JS explored life and the planet for 93 years.  We wanted to take a moment, here, to celebrate those 93 years.  To give a brief footnote in history to our friend’s father and his impact on those friends.  Doc J, Mr. E.  We can never experience your loss, but we can assist in keeping JS alive in your hearts and minds.  We hope your grief and loss doesn’t overshadow the love and life you had with JS.  We send love and the hope that the grief finds solace and balm in the memories of all the good times, smiles, love, family, travel, and everything that made JS a great father, partner, friend, person, and family man.  We will assist by keeping you both in our hearts.  We can’t share in memories of JS, but we can keep warm that place you have in our memories and hearts and we can make space for you to include your own memories and love of those now gone.  Friendship doesn’t mean sharing just the good times, but also helping carry some of the grief during the bad times; even if that’s just a kind word and thought.  You have our love and sympathies, our support and willingness to listen, and we wish you both (Mr. E especially) happy memories of good times shared.  We stand with you, in spirit, during this trying time and offer all the love and support we can.  May you find smiles and love in the memories as the pain and grief of that loss grow long and old with time.