Where's the beef?

I had my therapy session today and I was asked an interesting question.


We, my therapist and I, were chatting about Thailand, Bangkok, Doc J and Mr E coming, and any anxiety or thoughts I had on that.  Mundane stuff.  But, then she asked me - What do you miss about America?


I didn’t have an answer.  Off the top of my head, Mexican food (still haven’t found really good Mexican) and beef was my answer.   Beef is costly and either poor quality or super high quality, but not in between.


No beef is something I’ve started to overcome, finding new and interesting things to make or alternatives, but I would kill a nun - heck, a bus full of nuns - to just make ground beef gringo tacos again.  


This was followed by more questions and talking.  Do I miss driving?  Would I want to drive in Thailand?  Would we miss never owning a home?  Do we miss hearing English and being able to use English daily?  


We don’t.  And I say we with confidence, as J and I have talked about this a few times.


We don’t have to worry about a car.  We don’t need to worry about finding, then fixing, then upkeep on a home.  We can walk everywhere and once the train line near us opens (approx 6m, from recent timetables I’ve heard) what will open up traveling to the city center and make that a whole lot easier.  Half KM walk and hop on a train.  The markets.  The fruit.  The produce.  


Sure, we would like more space for living, a more western kitchen, and for 7 of the 12 months to NOT be 100 degrees with 90% humidity and rain storms that flood the streets, but that is a 1% complaint.  As in, we complain about that 1% of the time.  It’s not an everyday or deal breaker to us.


She (Doc Jen, my Therapist… I’ve got a lot of J’s and Doc Js in my life LOL) then asked if I saw us back in America one day.  She shared with me that she has never been outside of the States and, moreover, had never (until college) been more than 20 minutes from home.  Even now, living in TN, (she’s from AL) she can get “home” in about 3 hours.


That reminded me of my family…. Most of them, anyways.  And some friends.


How can you drive 30ish minutes to Kenosha to see friends?  Why do you want to waste an hour driving to Milwaukee?  You’re driving to Madison and back in the same day????


I’ve never been small town like that.  


I lived in Da Bay (respek) for a decade.  30 minute drive was 2 miles to the grocery store.  HAHA. I had a job that would take me from SD to LA and back in a day.  Occasionally twice in a day.  We’d go to Balboa Park or see a Padres game, go to the SD Zoo (best zoo in the world), go to Palomar for the day.  These are 60-90 minute drives.  When it was just J and myself, we’d turn on some music and drive and chat and love.  With Kiddo, it was about the same, only with Kiddo baby babbling at us or learning to talk or being verbal and just talking or telling us things.  


Yeah, it took 45 minutes to get to work some days.  Sure, it took an hour home some days, but it was also 15 minutes to one of the best beaches in the country.  Heck, the beach we went to most frequently wasn’t only host to a number of Surf competitions, it has hosted the US Open for Surfing a number of times.  That’s like saying you golf a little course called Pebble Beach.  


It’s a give and take.  Does the bad outweigh the good?  For us, it hasn’t yet.  I loved my time in Da Bay.  I loved my time in SD.  I am loving our time in BKK.  


Besides that, we’ve become accustomed to the open air markets, the night markets, the communal aspects of living outside of the States.  Drivers let other merge and everyone zippers in traffic, they don’t fight for the last inch.  Without being here, it’s hard to explain.  Market vendors play loose with us and round to the nearest 5 or 10, 62 baht will expect 60, 64 baht, I pay 65 and don’t expect change.  It’s karma’s job to keep score, not mine, and at the end of the day, I bring some market stalls business 4-6 days a week.  Round up or round down a bit, but at the end of our time in Rama 2 or in BKK, I would bet that me and the vendors I see routinely will be within 10 baht either way of the actual price over the years.  In the States, if something is $1.02, you better have two cents or a Take/Leave a penny cup or you ain’t getting it.  And sure… When you went to the farmers market that one time… But here, it’s constant.  Even in the stores.  And then, add in the Tuk drivers and regular passengers and they will ask and joke with me about Kiddo.  One Tuk driver, over the summer, told me that I couldn’t ride without “Bay-BE!”.


We’ve become part of the community here.  As much as we can, at least.  We like that.  We like the overall vibe of SEA and this experience.  It’s not about ME and US and MINE.  It’s about people, life, and acting for the benefit of everyone, not just you.  


I would drive again, but I’d prefer to not.  I’d miss the market.  I’ll miss street food.  Heck, I’d even miss the Soi Dogs.  Life here… It’s hard to explain.  It’s got flavor.  Imagine a McDonalds burger.  Now, imagine a burger that is hand made.  Cared for.  Loved.  Cooked with attention and purpose.  Not quickly produced to taste and look a certain way, but made with you in mind.  That’s the difference.  There’s just more here.  More flavor.  More to be excited over.  More to experience.  We can find McDonalds if wanted and needed, Kiddo and her Dada lunches prove that, but there is so much more.  A richness and depth.  


It’s beautiful and it’s fun.  It’s home.  And maybe like Da Bay and SD, I’ll spend a decade here.  Maybe we will move on and fall in love all over again.  Maybe it will be Argentina, Japan, Papua New Guinea, Mars or a Moon colony.  Who knows.  But, if nothing else, it’s exciting and interesting and it makes everyday a little bit more colorful.


Let’s go Kiddo… Today is a new day and I know you don’t want to go to school and would rather be lazy and flufferfly cocoon in tent bed blankie, but let’s get moving and see how you feel.  Better and you like the weather today?  So do I.  I’m glad we live here too.  I love you too.  Kiss and hug and I’ll see you after school.  We couldn’t ask for anything better. 

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