Yelling into the void

I have to tattle on myself today.  I yelled at Kiddo this morning.  

I had just finished the dishes, packed my bag to go out and get some work done and write this blog and stuff like that.  I wanted to be out of the house ASAP so I could maximize my time today as I had a lot to get done before writing this.  So, I was putting the towel outside on the drying rack and I yelled to Kiddo, “Grab your shoes and let’s get a move on.”

I didn’t hear anything to that, but she’s usually good about stuff like that.

Putting the towel outside, I came back inside and walked past her room to get to my bedroom and I banged on her door and repeated the grab your shoes.  I heard nothing back and I was getting frustrated.  I remembered then, that I hadn’t taken my meds yet.  So, I took that, grabbed what I needed, and headed out; making sure the AC was off.  Walking past her door again, I banged again, “Let’s go!”

Nothing.  Usually she’ll yell back or fight or cry or something.  Today, she just ignored me.  

I was pissed!

So, I grab my shoes and put them on.  Trying to breathe and calm down.

Finally, it was time to go and not a sound from her.  I say, “Time to go, I’m coming in.”

To her empty bedroom.

I went and sat down on her bed and grabbed Poley and gave him a little hug and just had a minute for myself.  She has moments here and there when she doesn’t want to go to school because she wants to hang out and play or to just “be with Dada today.”

Well, Kiddo, so do I!  I miss you so bad some days that I forget that I dropped you off and instead think of the fun things or tasks that we have to do that day.  

Let’s go, Kiddo… I’ve got to yell at your empty room again today.  LOL

I was going to write about my writing.  How I must look going to the various cafes or places that I go throughout BKK.  The main focus of it was going to be on my Bubblebee Bag.  That’s what I call it at least.

The bag (shown below) was a gift from J a few Bdays back.  Maybe it was a Giftmas or Anniversary gift.  I don’t really remember the occasion that she got me the bag, but I love it.  Timbuk2 is a brand that I’ve trusted and used for a good 20 years now.  Water proof.  Tough as hell.  Comfortable as your favorite sweatshirt to carry.  The only reason I got a new one was because my old one was for a 15” full sized laptop.  I currently carry a 13” MacBook Air.  So, the size difference allowed the computer to bounce quite a bit.  As we all should know, this isn’t good for technologies and the more they are stable and well protected the happier they are.  Not only that, but my old bag was all black.  I wanted something with some panache to it.  

To be honest, I wanted to color swap the black and yellow, but Timbuk2 (at least at the time) didn’t offer yellow stitching.  Only black, blue, white, red, gray, and silver.  But, the stitching needed to match the middle panel or default to black.  I would have gone black and yellow with white stitching, but that wasn’t an option.  Black was the default unless it was the color of the middle panel.  So, black and yellow with black on black stitching.  Nah.  I flipped it and got the Bumblebee.

I wonder, sometimes, what Thai people think of me.  A bearded, shaved head, funky converse on my feet with colored laces (white laces are boring), usually with one earbud in, and some type of hat or bandana on my head, carrying this bumblebee looking bag.  Sometimes I wish I was fluent in Thai and a fly on the walls, just to hear what those random cafe workers or market people or whomever have to say.  Not that I’m self-conscious about it, more that I’m curious how I’m perceived by those people.  I’ve worked cafes, bars, restaurants, etc.  I’ve been in places where people come in and out, where regulars come in and out, and I gotta tell you; Most of the time we (the staff) will have names for those people, but don’t really think badly of them.  Like, when I was at Wilsons (Man, I miss that place, and the Wilsons!) we had all types of regulars.  A few I knew the names of, they were (like me in a lot of ways) a friend of the business.  Others, unless they pissed us off (entitled line cut chai tea bitch), got nicknames like Book Guy, The Badger Twins (they always wore red and Badger gear, they always come in together) and their wives (we found out almost a year later) became the Badger gals.  EI: The Badger twins were in today and they brought the Badger gals with them.  Or Only one Badger gal was with, which one, IDK, it seemed like Key’s Wife, Buck’s wife is the greying one, right?  Pleasant people.  We had nothing against them.  They kept to themselves.  Tipped well enough.  Didn’t make a huge mess.  We just never got their names.  So, Badger twins- Buck and Key.  Hopefully you get that reference.  If not, Bucky Badger is the mascot of UW-Madison.

Last night, was a rainy night. It didn’t pour.  It didn’t blow and storm.  It rained.  Consistently from about 4pm until after I went to bed at almost midnight.  So, the Soi shut down and was quiet last night.  Sadly, it was still hot and sticky (84 degrees (29ish for the Euros) and 70% humidity at 10pm) so I couldn’t just open the house and be comfortable, but it was nice to step outside and just listen and watch from time to time.  I like that.  The nights when it’s just quiet and rainy.  I wished I could snap my fingers and give me that exact weather, only on the River Kwai and in a hammock just swinging and chilling.

At least I had some good tengmo and sapparot to eat.  It is beyond good these days.  Both are in season and with the heat, humidity, and rain- they are thriving right now.  I wish I could put a taste link in here so y’all could experience it.  I got a feeling we’d have a lot more people clamoring to visit us on those two tastes alone.

Let’s go, Kiddo… Time to get moving!!!!!  KIDDO!!!!!  Oh, empty room.  Sad Dad!  Learn a lot and I can’t wait for Sunday Funday Dada and Kiddo lunch.

PS.  Waffle snack for Kiddo waiting for her after school snack.  Ah, the life of a parent of a 5 year old.  HAHAHA