An Open Letter

An Open Letter to Jesters and BV

You guys are close to a big step and a grand adventure. Days, hours, heck… minutes from now, you could bring your new person into the world. And what a world it is, both wonderful and horrible at times. A beautiful place filled with beautiful people, for the most part, that is filled with technological and natural wonders. That’s an exciting feeling.

There is nothing I can say to prepare you for this. All I can do is give some advice. Expect everything. Anything. And just when you think you’re beyond being surprised by the little bundle of life, they will surprise you twice before you even realize it.

It’s bad. I don’t mean that to scare you, just to prepare you. It’s BAD! You will lose sleep. You will irrationally worry. You will see and do things you thought you’d never have to do.

I once took Kiddo to Target. After that, we had to go to Costco. After that, we had to go see the pediatrician and get a flu shot. Uncle Schmittah was coming in that evening. Kiddo was her usual cool 6 month old self, cooing and cutenessing it up, when all of a sudden the screams started. The smell of that poo still haunts my dreams. That’s not the worst part, though. The worst part is that, when I went to get her, thinking that it would be a quick Target bathroom change that I discovered the truth. Somehow the poo got everywhere. It was in an ear. It was up her back. It was EVERYWHERE!

Changing my daughter of poo from the eyes down, including her carseat was NOT on my Kid Bingo Card. And in about 2 hours, I need to take her to a mandatory reporter, so if she isn’t cleaned poo perfect, I was dreading having to have that convo with CPS. “I really am a good dad, but the poo was everywhere…. Every. Where.” <sobs>

I got her clean and even shared the story with her doc and nurse and the nurse (who had kids) nodded and sympathized with me and offered to give her a quick bath before inspecting her and complimenting me on the cleaning. The secret was using almost a whole pack of wipes.

It never ends.

Sickness. Sorrow. Sadness. Silliness. Strong Headedness. All of the emotions, feelings, learning, boundary pushing, etc etc etc will test your patience.

It will, though, make you love. Smile. Laugh. And shake your heads in wonder, amazement, amusement, and all the rest.

You are soon going to have a bundle of joy. The joy (at least in my five years of experience) lasts forever. It’s the potholes of frustrations, rage, lost patience, and worry that you never see until it’s too late that will get ya. Accept the bump in the road, change the tire, and keep driving. It’s the only way.

Unite in your love of them. Unite in your frustrations. Unite in just looking at the little love while they sleep. Unite in everything, because it’s you and them vs. the world, but sometimes it is you vs. them vs the world. Trust me, it’s easier than You vs The Other vs Them Vs The World.

It’s not personal. Sometimes Mommy is needed. Sometimes it’s a Dad only fix, even if that fix is a hug. Sometimes it’s both of you that are needed. Learn to give sandwich hugs, they help a lot.

Lastly, and this is important, have fun. Yes, even on 2 hours of sleep with a screaming little poo monster who for some reason just won’t sleep, learn to have fun with it. I made chicken stock one night with her in the carrier. Another night, I made bread. Of course, I didn’t do anything with hot pots or pans with her still in the carrier, but by those times, she was either right back to sleep or nearing it and laying in the bouncer drifting off and in sporadic need of parental love. Have fun with each other. A kid isn’t a death sentence or life term. It’s a lot of work, but that doesn’t mean you can’t laugh, love, joke, smile, kiss, hug, or occasionally go out and enjoy yourselves.

They will forever be a talking point. J and I still talk about and marvel at Lil Miss on our nights or times away. 75% of it is adult stuff and couple stuff and work/job/life stuff, but there will always be the bit about the kid. The happy and sad. The funny and frustrating.

You are near the top and once that rollercoaster goes over the edge, you’ll wonder who forgot the seatbelts and safety harnesses. It’s life. Those don’t exist here. Love does. And that love, for the kid and each other, will make it all right.

Trust yourselves. Trust the universe. Trust love. Smile… even when you don’t want to smile. Smile to each other when it’s not appropriate for the lil one to see you smile.

Have fun, because the adventure is beyond what you can imagine. I’d wish you luck, but luck isn’t needed. All of the above is needed. J, Kiddo, and myself send you love and know that we are half a globe away, but we will always carve out time for a FaceTime call or whatever is needed to support you on this crazy adventure. Hugs and our best, we can’t wait to meet the lil monkey!

PS. Here's a few of Kiddo, just doing Kiddo stuff. You'll know soon enough. :)