On Being 6
I’ve recently finished Stephen King’s The Dark Tower series, again. In 1999 King was involved in an incident with a driver where he was struck by a van and seriously injured. Along the way of finishing, King updated the narrative flow of his first book in the series, The Gunslinger, and in that, he added a new forward. On Being 19. (web version linked if you want to just give that a read). It has some significance in the books (as the readers of it will know) and I’m sure some of it was ret-conned by King to fit the narrative he wrote.
In the forward/essay, King wrote on what life was like at age 19. How you are full of hope and ambition and life. You haven’t gone grey or started losing your hair yet. You could stay up all night, shower it off, and then keep going. You didn’t have a wife, kids, a mortgage, or an agent breathing down your neck. It was the best age, because you didn’t know any better at that age and everything was still possible.
Kiddo is 6. That means she is 1/3rd of the way through he childhood. It feels like yesterday we brought her home. That we got up for feedings at 12, 2, 4, etc etc. First steps. First word. First, first, first. And with that, last, last, last. Last diaper. Last bottle. Last night in a crib. Last day in CA. She’s done a lifetime of exploring in 6 years and it’s only 1/3rd of her childhood.
At the same time, we can not be through 1/3rd of our time with her? Tomorrow she’s gonna be in middle school. The day after that she’s gonna be in high school. The day after that she’s gonna be off to Uni and the next adventures in life. But… but… that’s only Tuesday! She’s not going to be gone by Tuesday.
She will be, however.
She will grow and explore and change and be. She will become more and more of her, who she will be, what she will be. She will have friends and a boy or girl friend. She will have love and heartbreak. She will laugh and smile. Cry and shout. She will hug and kiss and give life her all.
With apologies to Mr. King (should he ever read this)-
On Being 6
One day, you wake up and you’re 6. You didn’t mean to be 6, but here you are. The days are filled for you, with love and light, with Mumma and Dada, Nanny Beer, school, friends, fun, and all the exciting and new things you get to learn.
A year ago, you didn’t read. At least, not much. A word here or there, but what of it. You couldn’t read really. Now, you read to us. That was a year. But you did so much more. Math and writing. Thai. You can write Thai letters and words. You’ve made friends met new people, some of whom you liked and others that were friends for a short while. You’ve learned so much, but you’ve taught as well. Mostly, you’ve taught me and Mumma how to love better. All you needed to do is just be around. That, in itself, is enough.
Unlike most, you were pulled out of the world you knew and got thrust into a world you knew nothing about. You, though, you were strong and brave enough to adapt and come to love the travels we’ve taken. You get to see and explore more and that’s perfect when you are 6. At 6, you are adaptable and flexible and everything is an experience. Sure, those experiences change based on location, but even if we would have stayed in CA, you would have experiences, friends, learning, and more. However, you get to have your world colored in different ways. Everyone else gets the 10 pack of crayons, you got lucky and get the 100 pack.
What will you do with those colors? How will you color yourself and your world with those colors? You already say Bin instead of trashcan. You say open and close the lights sometimes. You take the lift sometimes. All of these little things will color you and your world. Make you unique in that world you live. Some people may call you odd or different or tell you that you are wrong. To them and you, I say, be you. Don’t let my apple pie experience take away from your pecan pie experience. Instead, find some whipped cream or ice cream and everyone can enjoy.
You, Kiddo, are 6. You are a great age. The perfect age. Just like 4 was perfect and 5. Not because you are perfect, but because together, the imperfects of you and Mumma and me make perfect. You are through 1/3rd of your childhood, but you make up 1/3rd of this perfect circle called family and love.
One day, before any of us know it or even want it, you will be an adult and that will be different. Read The Dark Tower, (do it please ya, yar) and pay attention to the forward. Read this blog and pay attention to the focus of it. Let life show you the whole of itself. Use all 100 colors to not just color your world, but to subtly shade it and make it more. Not better than others, not worse. More. Follow Kanvinski and Rothko and break the rules and color how you want. Because that’s what being 6 means. It means coloring outside the lines, using odd color combos and seeing what works for you. Even if others don’t like the color combos. You will find the people who color like you, use the colors you do or want to share your colors with you, not take them from you.
Find those people. Color, shape, and explore your world. And remember what Sai King had to say, once. There are other worlds than these… There are millions of worlds, all within your reach. Find those worlds filled with colors and love and hope and light, close the doors on those worlds of hate and dark and blackness.
You get one shot at 6. Make it count and live it full. Try. See. Love. Ask your million questions on every subject, in every day, in every situation. When you are 6, you have no worries other than the basic worries (and we are NOT trying to minimize your worries and feelings) and wondering if you should ride your bike, swim in the pool, or just do puzzles and read today. The worse things that can happen to you is that you don’t like the dinner I made. Even though those feels feel like they are 10000000% important, you will look back and see that it wasn’t quite THAT important that you wanted chicken and not pork that one night. And most important, never forget the ice cream. It will never again be as good, as sweet, or as exciting as it was when you were 6.
On Being Six…
Let’s go, Kiddo…. Mumma and I love you and can’t believe that it’s already been 6 years with you. 1/3rd of your childhood makes up 1/3rd of my life with Mumma. Perfect balance, just like you bring us. You balance us, even when it feels like you are trying to squeezing into the middle hug, you balance us and because of you, we are us. Before you, Mumma and I loved and were married. With you, we are family.
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